Impart the wisdom of writers throughout the ages to the minds of the young in the hope of making them better people. Encourage the apathetic to understand that thought, reason, knowledge and learning are keys to survival and success.

Defender of manners and good behaviour. Advocate of articulate speech and coherent writing. Protector of the apostrophe.

Counsellor, negotiator, money-lender, administrator, organiser, facilitator, pregnancy-testing kit purchaser, relationship adviser, surrogate parent, assessor, spreadsheet designer, book critic, tissue provider, behaviour manager, data analyist, report writer, presentation giver, performer, careers adviser, reference writer, researcher, proof-reader...

Teacher.