James Hsiao - Plinky Answers

Wacky Advice -- But Useful

2010-12-09T09:09:26-06:00

"You should try to grab her boobs on an early date."

- From a woman.

The Prius/Escalade dilemma

2009-03-20T14:04:06-06:00

Anyone choosing the Escalade:

a) has never driven an SUV for an extended period of time to know the actual cost of filling up the tank.
b) has no concept of the value of money
c) has no care as to the worth of money in their lives.
d) has a small penis
or
e) is in dire need of a personality-resetting punch to the balls.

Songs for Recovery

2009-03-20T13:12:44-06:00

Untouchable Face by Ani DiFranco

"Untouchable Face" covers the first three stages of grief, telling the story of someone's denial, anger, and bargaining over their loss. Ani DiFranco sings this road song with a palpable ire in her voice, and you can feel the unspoken wishes she sings to her absent lover.

Pep Talk by Descendents

When you're amidst the throes of depression, The Descendents have a "Pep Talk" for you. "Just take your time and you will find what your life requires."

Starting Now by Ingrid Michaelson

And "Starting Now" wraps up the five stages--Ingrid Michaelson sings her own acceptance, propping herself up with her words of removing the old relationship from her life.

First! (The breakup)

2009-03-19T13:45:25-06:00

On February 13, 1998, I drove up to Gainesville, Florida from Miami after work in preparation for a weekend visit to my long-distance girlfriend as well as a consultation with my graduate advisor. I had planned a nice evening out with my girlfriend for the next day, following a stop-off at a friend's birthday party. I had high hopes that we'd have a nice intimate weekend with one another.

As we waited for the meal to arrive, we talked about the various things that were happening with our lives--the details that don't come readily when exchanging email or instant messages. I talked briefly of my job, and the boring minutiae of my days in Miami. She told me a short story about one of her classmates, who had asked about our relationship. She recounted the details of that conversation, how her classmate had asked if we were still together. I asked for more detail on her answer.

"Well, I told her that we're not."

I would glance at my watch then, and see the clock hands near vertical, the longer one just slightly past the shorter one. I've convinced myself that I'm the first person in the Eastern timezone to be dumped on that Valentine's Day, some eleven years ago.

If only because it makes for a more interesting story.