The first time I was at the Manchester Academy was actually for my first gig ever, at the age of 14. But my two favourite gigs at that venue have to be the first time I saw Lostprophets, one of my all-time favourite bands, and then when I saw Hoobastank, a few years later.

It's a great place for a small gig, and even better when a bigger band goes to play there. There's no seating area, it's all standing, but even from the back you can see the performers clearly. It's big enough to feel overwhelming but small enough to feel secure.

Lostprophets was great, went with just one other friend who quickly became my gig buddy the year before (and a close friend at school), and we met half the band by hanging out in the freezing Febuary air before the gig. It's also the only gig where I've felt scared for myself, since during the crush I ended up being knocked over. Not just knocked over though. Someone had held onto my arms so my upper body was being held upright, but my legs had been pushed out from under me and people were falling on top of them. I'd been separated from my friend, but luckily the people holding onto me got me upright and pushed me out of the crush.

Hoobastank, there was a bigger group of us, but still only 4. We split up at one point, since myself and another friend didn't want to get crushed but the other two felt a gig wasn't worth it if you weren't in the thick of it getting pressed against barriers and other people. There was one great moment near the beginning of the main set. My friend, H, had been feeling a bit tired and wanted to sit, so she was squatting while we stood around her. As a joke, I tipped a bit of water into her hair... just as some girls walking past bumped into her shoulder holding beer glasses.

H freaked out that there was beer in her hair, and we thought it was funny so we played along with it. We took her to the bathroom while she washed hair in the sink and dried it under the hair dryer. Unfortunately she also burnt her shoulder on the nozzle... oops. When we got back to the stage, she was still a bit worried about her hair, thinking it looked bad because it felt a bit sticky...

We had fun at the gig anyway, amazing time.

We were talking about the gig the next Monday at school, which is when I told H that it was only water in her hair, not beer. And the sticky feeling was from her leave in conditioner.

Fortunately she can take a joke so we were all laughing about it, it's one of our fondest gig memories.

I don't actually like questions like these... once things are done, I try my hardest not to dwell on them, pining over "if only, if only...!"

Granted, lately I've been slipping into that bad habit, but before this low spiral that was my ethos. After all, consider the butterfly effect. Who know what might be now if things in the past were different..

I'm using Plinky to try and help spur my blog brain into motion. So. My dream vacation? That's actually a tricky question for me to answer. It'd involve a lot of things, because I don't like to stay in one place too long. I'm going to come quite close to it this summer I think. I'm going to Singapore and then off to Japan, and I'm travelling around the south and south east parts of the country, bits I haven't seen before, even though I've been to Japan four times now.

The thing is, I'm going alone. For someone with depression, this could be a big challenge. But I'm gonna try and make the most of it. This will be the second time I've gone on holiday alone - part of my whole not being able to stay in one place means I book impulsive holidays - and that holiday was amazing. A few days of low moments, but otherwise fine.

So my dream holiday? Being in a state of utter calm and peace with myself no matter where I am.