jennifer - Plinky Answers

The Night We Almost Ran Over James Taylor

2009-06-10T21:55:39-06:00

James Taylor
One warm summer night, my friend and I were driving through downtown Portland and my friend, who was driving, started to roll through a stop sign, looking only to the left to see if she was clear to go. I looked to my right and saw a man about to walk in front of her car, so I start to say, Pedestrian, and instead screamed at the top my lungs "IT'S JAMES TAYLOR!" and she started screaming too, and of course all the windows were rolled down, so he heard us loud and clear. As James walked in front of her car, he did this funny little "oh no, don't run me over" kind of of pantomime that was so cute! So yeah, I basically saved James Taylor's life.

Am I a Clown Here to Amuse You???

2009-05-27T03:17:12-06:00

Good ol' Marty. Patron Saint of mafia cliches, but nobody does it better. The music, the clothes, the violence, it's all there and I get sucked in every time. I almost hate when I realize it's on, because now I'm stuck on the couch for two and half hours. I know it's controversial, but I think Goodfella's is better than The Godfather. You know I'm right, admit it.

Lipstick on a mirror got me into trouble

2009-05-27T02:45:59-06:00

I was so busted. I saw a commercial on TV where a woman wrote on a mirror with lipstick. It seemed like such a fantastic idea, so I ran to the bathroom, grabbed my mom's lipstick and went to work. It was fun, but not as thrilling as I thought it would be. I made a half-assed attempt to clean it with the windex and went on with my life. A couple hours later my mom comes home, sees the streaky mirror, checks her now-ruined lipstick, puts two and two together and asks me directly: Did you write on the bathroom mirror with my lipstick? I looked her straight in the eyes and said "No." Honestly, it hadn't occured to me that it was a stupid thing to do until the moment she asked and I just panicked. So I was busted for a) ruining the lipstick, and b) lying about it. Now that I think back, every time I got in trouble was because I did something dumb and then lied about it. In my defense though, I never thought I was doing something wrong until I realized I was in trouble. My intentions were always pure!

Oh No, Here Comes Martha

2009-05-20T03:24:15-06:00

Pork Tenerloin with Mustard Cream Sauce
Jesus. If Martha's coming over, what to feed her is the least of my problems. Hopefully she's okay with eating dinner on the couch at the coffee table, because I still haven't managed to commit to dining room chairs. Actually, now that I think of it, having her over might force me to just buy some damn chairs and get it over with. Might as well finish the guest room and get the bathroom painted while I'm at it. You know what? Forget it, we'll just go out to eat. Much less stress. Plus, she's rich, so she'll probaby pick up the check.

Terms of Endearment is worthy of tears

2009-05-11T22:58:13-06:00

"You're my touchstone, Emma."
"Give my daughter her medicine!"
I almost don't have to watch it anymore - just hearing the music or telling someone else how sad it is makes me cry. I have tears in my eyes right now!

That's Amore!

2009-05-08T21:39:00-06:00

I like to imagine that I come from a noisy New York Italian family and once I saw this movie, it became this family in this house. I'd be Loretta's cousin and best friend, and we'd hang out in the kitchen with Aunt Rose and we'd yell and slam the table and go visit Ronnie at the bakery and have dinner at Bobo's. There would always be accordian music playing in the background and life would be so romantic and passionate!

I'm on fire

2009-05-06T21:41:38-06:00

The summer I was 27. Everything was working -- the clothes, the hair, the friends, the job. It was The Summer of WeatherEye; I was en fuego and I knew it. If I could hang out with the Ghost of Summers Past, that's the one I'd go observe.

Gimme five minutes with Mary-Kate Olson

2009-05-06T21:34:40-06:00

M-K. Honey. What's with the clothes? I feel like all this XXL, witchy, bizzare, semi-grunge stuff is an outward manifestation of inner turmoil. You're not a teenager anymore - you shouldn't be advertising your angst via headbands and ankle-length caftans. You're a beautiful girl - embrace it!

I'd Love a Bowl of Salt Noodles, Thank You

2009-05-06T21:26:00-06:00

Was? I'm currently broke and my go-to broke meal (for lunch almost every day) is a bowl of Ramen and an English muffin. Carb-heavy, I know. But a pack of Ramen is, what, twenty cents? And a bag of six muffins is $1.00, so that's lunch for about thirty-six cents. You just can't beat the price!

Listen here, sugar

2009-04-22T22:15:42-06:00

It's not that I sweet-talk exactly...I'm actually a little bit acerbic, but by adding just a little bit of honey now and then, it throws them off balance and they end up doing my bidding. Not that I intentionally manipulate people, of course, but...

Life in a Northern Town

2009-04-22T21:53:05-06:00

I'm a fair-skinned can't-really-deal-with-heat type person, so I'm not well-suited for island life. Can it be a little cottage in a remote, mostly rainy but sometimes sunny and generally cool-to-warmish place, like maybe somewhere in Scotland? If so, then I'd tell the rescue ship (probably a rescue van since it's not an island) that I'm fine, thanks. I love my little vegetable garden with a walled fence, a few bunnies, trails for walking, and orange wellie boots. I'll stay here!

Don't Send Help - I'm Stuck with Jason Statham

2009-04-08T23:23:59-06:00

Jason Statham
It would be just the two of us, of course. We'd laugh a little awkwardly and make dumb little "oh no we're stuck" comments, and then try all the standard emergency alarms, phones, etc. Then we'd get to talking and we would totally hit it off, like we'd known each other for years, but believe me, the sparks would be flying. Sooner or later, he would get impatient (like he does) and try to free us himself. I'd say "Jason, no, you'll get hurt." and he'd take off his jacket and loosen his tie and say "Don't worry, Darling, I'll be right back." Then he'd go through the trap door in the ceiling and climb out of there and get help. Finally, the elevator would start working and when the doors opened in the lobby, he'd be standing there with a little smile on his face and say "See?" and I'd smile and take his hand... And Scene!

Some Say Love...

2009-04-08T23:08:40-06:00

the_pink_rose

I sang "The Rose" in the sixth grade talent show and rocked it so well that the principal personally requested that I sing it again at the end-of-year assembly. Basically I couldn't walk the halls for months. That kind of fame can ruin someone so young, but I handled it.

Never Again is Too Soon

2009-04-08T22:58:49-06:00

Deacon Blues by Steely Dan

All Steely Dan, but especially Deacon Blues, makes me feel physically ill. Something about that jazz-like sound is just horrible.

California Stars by Wilco

I actually love it. It takes me to such an amazing time of life, but the memories are so painful that I can't take it. If I could Lacuna it out of my head, I might.

Horse with No Name by America

I don't know...I just don't like it. I think it's that "la-la" bit.

'The World of Karl Pilkington' KILLS me

2009-03-31T22:42:11-06:00

I know it's not nice to make fun of people and usually mean humor makes me really uncomfortable, but for some reason when the British do it, it just kills me. If you can keep Ricky Gervais' voice in your head while you read, it's even funnier.

Zombies!

2009-03-31T22:34:16-06:00

What are the odds that they'll find me in my apartment? Out of all the apartments, why would they come to my door? I think I'd just be very quiet in there and pretend like no one's home...no delicious brains in here...move along...

You can call me...Difficult Bookworm McRoutine

2009-03-11T22:45:14-06:00

Says it all!

Works Every Time

2009-03-09T21:21:40-06:00

This came from my dad, and throughout my life I have found that it almost always applies: "You need to do something about your situation, kid."

Little Known Fact About David Bowie

2009-03-09T00:07:55-06:00

When I was in middle school I fell in love with David Bowie and had posters of him all over my room. One day I happened to notice that in all of these pictures he had his head turned to the right and mentioned it to my dad (who has a gleeful evil streak). So my dad says the Thin White Duke's head is always turned because he only has one ear due to a birth defect. Well, I took this little-known bit of rock and roll trivia to school to share with all my friends, who immediately and very mockingly corrected me. In an instant I knew my dad had got me, and got me good. You know those moments when you realize that you are not even close to being cool, and, in fact, are probably a great big dork?

'Jane Says' makes my skin crawl

2009-03-08T23:53:59-06:00

Jane Says by Jane's Addiction

It's okay to lie to protect someone's feelings

2009-03-08T23:47:05-06:00

Sometimes. If someone says "How do you like my new haircut?" you say it's awesome and you love it and it looks amazing. There's not a damn thing to be done about a bad haircut except wait it out, so what harm? However, if someone asks your opinion about something that they can change or have direct control over, then go ahead and let them have it. I generally operate under the assumption that they wouldn't ask what I think if they didn't want to know.

Don't say the phrase "Comfortable in (my/his/her) own skin" around me

2009-03-08T23:37:37-06:00

The phrase "Comfortable in (my/his/her) own skin."
It's just so lame! I cringe as soon as I realize someone is about to say it. And now that you mention it, I don't really like the word "skin."

That Chandelier is in the Wrong Spot

2009-03-08T23:21:50-06:00

Naturally I find sweeping generalizations about particular groups of people abhorrent, but seriously: only a man would hang the chandelier in its current location. Ideally, a chandelier hangs above the center of a table, right? Isn't that common knowlege? So if you were going to hang a chandelier, wouldn't you hang it where a table might logically be placed? Mine is hung exactly at the place where the kitchen becomes the dining area, so if you were to put a table beneath it, you'd have to crawl over the counter to get into the kitchen. I know what you're thinking - place a hook over the center, swag the chain and move the damn thing. I know, I will, but I want to know WHY he hung it there!

My favorite line from 'Miller's Crossing'

2009-03-08T23:03:50-06:00

So the mob boss smacks his spoiled brat kid across the face and the kid immediately starts sobbing. He pulls his son to him in a big hug and says "Awww, did somebody hit you?"

A real-life Elaine Benes

2009-02-08T13:16:14-06:00

I, like Elaine, have a bunch of goofy guys that I'm friends with, a horrible track record with relationships, and a sharp tongue. Plus dark curly hair and a love of black and white clothes.

Nini!

2009-02-08T12:39:46-06:00

When my nephew had just started talking, he started calling me Nini and it stuck. Now all my nieces and nephews and all the other little kids in my life call me that. I love it and worry that when they get older they'll stop.

My Paralyzing Terror of So Many Things

2009-02-06T21:41:22-06:00

I am terrified of snakes. Seeing the word written out makes me scared. I'm also scared of all other reptiles, rodents, most animals (except cats and dogs), falling down, loud noises, confrontations, neurological diseases, aging, dying, feeling cornered, birds, bad things happening to my family, flying, water, and probably a hundred other things, but these are the ones that come instantly to mind. These fears are severe and have stopped me from doing a lot, now that I think about it. Perhaps a therapist is in order...

Why I gave up on "Interview with the Vampire"

2009-01-31T22:23:16-06:00

I had probably less than 50 pages to go and I just couldn't bear another word. So pretentious and melodramatic. Awful. It's been at least 15 year since I put this one down, and I can't imagine ever picking it up again.

No defense for my vice: Brangelina

2009-01-30T23:23:53-06:00

Globe

I hate my vice...it's shameful and embarassing, and it is going to be hard to quit. I can't stop myself from reading Hollywood gossip websites. I am well into my late mid-30's and I find myself knowing way too much about Brangelina, who's dating who, who's getting fat, who's getting thin, who's drunk, who's on drugs, who cares? Apparently I do, because I can't stop! Everytime I open those web pages it perpetuates the need for paparazzi photography, not to mention how mean and hateful those gossip bloggers are. I really need to stop!

I'd fly to Crater Lake, Oregon this weekend...Well...

2009-01-30T23:07:58-06:00

Crater Lake is so deep that you could drop the Empire State Building into it and it would be completely under water. Isn't that freaky? I wonder what is living down there? Anyway, considering the fact that you couldn't get me on a helicopter for all the money in the bank (shocking, I know), I should probably just plan a road trip with my best friend instead. Because I don't think she's going to have access to a helicopter anytime soon, if ever. And actually, I wouldn't want to go this weekend anyway because it would be really cold and snowy - I've always imagined going in the summer. So, ultimately, I would not go to Crater Lake in a helicopter this weekend. Oh well.