• whimsydreams
      • hello April Trice
      • Username: whimsydreams
      • In response to: "What's the one thing you're never gonna give up?" Checking out an excessive amount of books from the library.
  • whimsydreams's latest answers
    • Shifty-Eyed Evader or Unblinking Intimidator?

      • So where are YOU on a scale between shifty-eyed evader and unblinking intimidator? I'd like to say I'm somewhere in between. Pretty much right around the "Stink Eye" marker. In my youth, I was told that my glare could melt stone...but I've mellowed out in my old age. Now my glare only melts ice and I make actual eye contact with people.

        Truth be told, the type of "eye" you give or get depends on the situation at hand. For instance, if you let one rip during Wednesday night communion, then you will get a grab-bag of nasty looks. If you believe you have magical powers and can re-arrange someone's face from a distance, then chances are you're an Unblinking Intimidator. It's easy to spot the Shifty-Eyed Evaders. Just shine a flash-light in their face and ask them where they were on the night of May 12, 1985, at approximately 10:42 pm.

        I will now share with you my top ten facial expressions that I use on a frequent basis.

        1. The Blank Stare

        2. The Petulant Pout

        3. The Grisly Grimace

        4. The Sho-Nuff Snobby

        5. The Snarky Snarl

        6. The Aggravated Because You Just Did Something Holy Stupid look

        7. The Nonchalant Side Glance

        8. The Irked & Irate Wide-Eyed Combo

        9. The Disgusted Snortle

        10. The Contempt Crusher...reserved for Mediacom and the Credit Bureau.

      • answered by whimsydreams on 08/13/2011
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    • Fortune Telling

      • Fortune Cookies

        My friends and I recently had a conversation about fortune cookies and their impact on our fragile emotions. Some of us took the fortunes seriously. Others laughed them off as hogwash and tomfoolery. A few sank into a puddle of depression because their last four cookies were fortune-less. It was then suggested that I should look into becoming a fortune writer for a fortune cookie company to supplement my income...apparently because I have the uncanny ability to build you up one minute, then tear you down the next.

        Here's my top 25. It's still a work in progress.

        1) General Failure will read your hard disk soon.

        2) You will die alone and poorly dressed.

        3) Now is the time to make circles with mints. Make haste!

        4) The end is near...and it's all YOUR fault.

        5) Help! I'm being held hostage in a Chinese bakery!

        6) Never tease an armed midget with a high five.

        7) The rubber bands are headed in your direction.

        8) People Google you and laugh.

        9) I stole your husband on Craig's List.

        10) Hope you enjoyed the meow meow chicken.

        11) The monkeys see you. They see everything.

        12) All of your hard work will never pay off.

        13) You are boring to talk to.

        14) You have the face of a near sighted rodeo clown.

        15) You will attend a party where strange customs prevail.

        16) Don't be a cold fish.

        17) Yes. Everyone is laughing AT you.

        18) The Chinese food you just ate actually came off the back of a truck from Jersey.

        19) You will eat many oysters but never get the pearl.

        20) Don't fry bacon naked.

        21) Your colon will self destruct in 5..4..3..

        22) Forgive your enemies...but remember their name, address, phone number and drug use history.

        23) Going to church, teaching Sunday school and wearing skirts 'n pantyhose doesn't make you a christian.

        24) Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

        25) Stupid looks fabulous on you.

      • answered by whimsydreams on 08/09/2011
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